What is it like to fall in love with someone?
It is a question that constantly roams inside her mind, running back and forth like a hungry pup looking for food. It ran from her deep thoughts to her boundless perceptions as she watch that same familiar sight of two figures walking side by side, hands tightly held together not for the means of winter, she was sure, but simply because they just wanted to hold each other's hands. And she would find herself staring at them, her gaze locked into their very existence in complete admiration , trying to understand the very notion of love.
Each time she finds herself in these situations, she couldn't help but marvel on one thing.
The eyes.
If one were to look at it from the scientific aspect, the eyes are the organs that react to light which allows vision to occur. The non-image-forming photosensitive ganglion cells in the retina will receive light signals which will then affect the adjustment of the size of the pupil, regulation and suppression of the hormone melatonin and entrainment of the body clock thus, allowing the function of the eyes to come to place. These was all textbook orientated and given her honor student tittle, was a mere at the back of her head. It was all too easy.
However, what about the not so scientifically aspect that she lacks to comprehend thou she tried to for so many times?
What about that ?
Those green shades of his and those blue shades of hers, that swims endlessly in black rivers and thou each are running aimlessly throughout, they are each filled with warmth and fire; a sort of driving force and affection like no other, Both light and dark shades of green and blue that dotted among the speckles of white, forest-like, almost, surrounded by beautiful green trees and blue skies, all collected together in a circle of wonder and admiration. And they were more alive and fresh than ever.
They were filled with so much love.
At least that's what she believes it to be.
Love.
--
'I wonder if I'll ever find someone who would look at me like that and I would look at him like that as well.' She found herself saying one day to her friend as they sat on the park bench just beneath a sick-looking tree that lost all of it's leaves due to the winter season. 'But of course, it's impossible for someone like me. I just..don't get it. What love is.'
'They say the heart stops too.' Her friend said as a reply. She was holding a cup of hot chocolate in one hand and her philosophy book on the other.
'Really? Why do you reckon that the heart stops?' Again, she found herself failing to understand.
'Don't know.' Her friend shook her head as she carefully place her hot chocolate on the empty space of the bench. 'I guess, they just love each other so much that it's hard to breathe?'
'That doesn't make any sense in any ways.' She argued, her eyes never leaving the two figures sitting just across them. They had the same look on their face as the other couples she had observed for the last two years of her university life.
-
She was never sure of when it first started because right before she realize it, it already did. However. one thing was for sure it happened during the last days of winter. Where there are no more snow but only the remaining ice on the roads and all over the surroundings. Where frozen lakes and rivers are beginning to melt and where bold trees are beginning to bloom, each welcoming the exciting breath of spring.
She was walking from her house to the nearby coffee shop for some breakfast before having to go to her class. It was the one class she least fond of so she wasn't looking forward to it in the slightest. It didn't really help spice her mood that morning when she accidentally woke up late and had to endure 'Time is everything in life' lecture from her mother. And to make matters worse she had the most terrible bed hair and it took her forever and a bit of a battle with her hair straightener and brush to make it at least decent looking. Today was going to be a long day she thought.
She looked at her watched as she entered the coffee shop. Thanks to all the mishaps she had, she only had 20 minutes to spend for breakfast. She let out a heavy sigh as she placed her orders and went to sit at her usual favorite spot.
-
If she had to define it. He was like a breath of fresh air. A sweet surrender under the magnificent, vast horizon. A mighty lord that enslaves her in the form of desire and needs. Something she had never felt before. She remembered how his hazel colored eyes were the most beautiful thing she had ever seen and how his dark hair was so intriguing, she had the desire to roam her fingers in it. His voice soft and yet firm and collective it gave her shivers. He was just absolutely perfect; the very definition of perfection in so many ways that the moment she locked her eyes into his, she found herself lost in a sea of affection and hotness.
What was this feeling?
'Excuse me, do you mind if I sit here with you? There's no other spot left in this place.' Was his first words for her and just as she was about to lash at him for bothering her in her private space, she found something tingling inside her heart for the very first time the moment she look at him.
'I guess you can.' She found herself saying. On the inside, she was yelling at herself for being an idiot and for allowing herself to give in to the situation.
'Thank you.'
-
And just like that, what started out as merely a company at the table, blooms into that of friendship until it became a daily routine for the both of them. Going to the coffee shop became something that excites every bone in her body and she would always look forward to each morning and frown when it passes. With each passing day, she found herself wanting more and more and she came to realize and understood of what it means to never having enough. She had become greedy yet she was not ashamed to admit it. This was all happening to herself and it wasn't something she despises. It was something that swept her off her feet and leave her breathless.
All because of those last days of winter.
Where her heart stops for the first time.
And she finally understood what it means to love somebody.
-FH
